| well in case u were wondering, because i neglected to say thins in my last post, my long term goal is 110 but my short term is 120. I was 126 this morning. so i want to be 120 by the end of the month so far ive done realy well 2day.
1 diet soda
1 ice tea
1/2 a sandwhich
and i have a muffin layed aside for dinner.
I dont know the calorie count but im estimating 150 for the tea 100 for t he sandwhich and mabye 150 for the muffin so thats about 400. Im happy. Ive done better but for just getting going again thats not to bad.
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| I kinda broke down today. I cant belive i weigh 130 again. how could i let this happen. I thought i would be ok being 125 and mabye i could focus on my life. but 130 god thats so disgusting so huge. I was 130 about a year and a half ago and thats when ana realy saved me. I need that 2 happen again. I cant be this fat god i have to lose this im so ugly so grose. Im trying to find ways to occupy my self so that i wont focus on food, i found a website i realy like. http://www.miirage.com/ I need to exercise more. go 2 the gym. or do one of the hundreds of workout tapes I have. Please girls i need some inspiration some support Im so confused. I need ana no matter what i may have said. I need it. |
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| 126
im a fat ugly whore.... no more words needed |
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| 125 still
well ive kinda started a new way of avoiding eating. I just eat an apple whenever im hungry. I dont knoww how many calories are in an apple but there cant be too many. Nobody gets suspicious because they still see me eating. Well yah if any1 knows how many cal are in an apple please tell me. Im doing rely good today its a happy day ya know. eventhough i am STILL a big ass 125 and its summer. I realy need to get to 115 before summer cheer practice starts or im just going to die. well thats a little insight into my pathetic life
" a picture can be worth a thousand words but this one only says FAT!" |
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| 125
quote: "My friends, there are no friends." - Coco Chanel (yes i adore her)
hey ppl this week has been major wierd. I found out my best friend R is back to being anorexic. Im not sure how to feel. Its nice to have someone who thinks the same and who i can talk to but its wierd because i get so worried for her because shes already realy skiny. but i cant tell her not to because well duh. I ate hella last night because i was with my friends M and B who... well... eat and not healthy at all. I started 2 cry today when i was trying on bathing suits. I guess id been in denile abotu HOW bad it REALY was. WEll today i had a sandwhich and 2 diet cokes and i did some laps at the pool. I think im done eating for today, i think ill try to go to R's house cause then i noe i wount eat for sure. WElll love you all and sorry about making everything private. Im going to make a few more things public but yeah im feelin a lil bit paranoid.
~me
thinspiration:
Angelina Jolie
 shes fucking crazy
but hey anyone that hot can be crazy
(i removed a part because of complaints)
well best of luck
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